A man pulled his car alongside mine this evening while I was stopped at a traffic light. It was dark outside and the street was pretty deserted. The guy pulled his little Honda close up to the side of my car and motioned me to roll down my window. As I assessed the situation, the traffic light turned green. At that point I shrugged my shoulders like that was my answer, gave the accelerator a little extra gas and took off. But at the next red light there he was again, pulled up right next to me, window rolled down and calling out to me.

Against my better judgment I used the power window control and lowered the passenger side window half way down.

In short order I learned that my persistent neighbor on four wheels was lost. In an accent thick from another country he asked me for directions to a nearby well-traveled street.

“That’s 800 north, you’re at 860 north,” I said pointing to the street sign, “you went past it.” I placed heavy emphasis on the word past.

The man looked at me puzzled as though he doubted what I said. Annoyed at the man, the situation, and annoyed at the funny feeling I had from being doubted by a lost foreigner, I pushed the button sending my window back to shut.

The light turned green, and off I went. The lost man with the thick accent tarried. Finally, my rear view mirror caught an image of him turning to head back in the direction from which he had come.

Then, there it was in front of me, a sign proclaiming the street name sought by the man in the car. Caught off guard, I had clearly gotten turned around in my thinking and had given incorrect directions.

I’ve given more than a few wrong directions in my time. Usually, they are the turned around kind of directions with me pointing exactly 180 degrees from correct. There’s an awful feeling that settles in when this happens. The feeling takes hold just about the time the lost party is just pulling away from the curb. A moment of reflection takes place and the truth is revealed. At that precise moment I immediately want to chase after the innocent traveler whom I have misinformed. But I always feel I will appear as a full-fledged, deranged maniac and scare the very person who has placed their trust in me.

A couple weeks back I was at the 7-11 getting a chicken salad sandwich. This is my new $2.99 lunch and I’ve gotten to be a regular. As I headed to my car with sandwich and bonus brownie, a woman in a beige Toyota pointed her car right at me and swerved to block my passage.

The woman dispensed with all pleasantries and formalities. No “excuse me,” or “may I ask?”

“Where’s the Ontario feeder ramp to the expressway?”

Now in my defense, my sandwich was calling me and I was in the middle of the street.

“One block that way,” I pointed towards the north.

“I think you’re wrong,” quipped the woman. “I think it’s south.”

“One block that way,” I pointed and persisted.

Just as the woman completed a loud screech of a uturn. it dawned on me that she was right and I was wrong and she was now headed in the direction I had sent her. The familiar flood of guilt washed over me but I managed to resist running down the middle of the street to correct my gaff.

A word to the wise. All you lost and bewildered and seeking directions, beware. The directions you garner may cause you additional travel time and much inconvenience.

One easy rule to remember. If a man with a chicken salad sandwich gives you directions only to immediately start chasing you, well, that’s a signal you are now traveling in the opposite direction that you desire. Do a u-turn, avoiding said man, ignore him and proceed confidently the way you were originally headed.