Micah Hudson is the youth director at the Delphi United Methodist Church. I chose this topic because this is the number one thing that I wish that parents would ask me about, but do not. I believe every parent wants to be the best that they can be especially about passing on beliefs and faith. So, I present these words to help you and to encourage you!

There are several parental philosophies when it comes to getting teens to attend church and/or youth group from week to week or even once in a while. One philosophy is to "push" them and make them attend whenever you attend as a parent. Teens are already "made" to attend school and usually do not like to be told what else they have to do. Another philosophy is to "hope" that they will want to go on their own and magically appear at church without any of your own advice, encouragement or input.

I know of a few teens who randomly choose to do what is right or good for them but most will choose not to when given the choice. A predominant philosophy is to "guilt" them to attend. In this philosophy teens realize that "attending church is not fun if they have to feel guilty to go" and then the teen begins to drag their feet until they finally win and do not have to attend any longer.

However, I would like to present another, better philosophy to consider and to try. It is not too late! If you as a parent believe that going to church is important, then it is important for you to demonstrate this through your own attendance, attitude, etc.

It is important for you to have a monthly conv ersation with your teen about "why church is important to you." Monthly reminders are good because most teens will forget.

Yet you still think, "how do I get them to want to attend church or youth group then?" Well, I would suggest this.

First, decide together how many times per month that your teen needs to be at church and/or youth group activities. A little compromise is good on the parents' side.

Second, give your teen the option of which church services and/or youth group activities that they will attend each month based on your agreement. If your teen decides at the last minute not to attend a certain church/activity, then that is a choice that you are giving them to begin to make on their own. But, if they are at the end of their "misses" at the middle of the month, then you remind them of your agreement and expect them to attend without any "guilt" from you and without any "attitude" from them. I am sure this never happens to you.

Third, agree on consequences for when your teen might not meet their side of the agreement like loss of phone, internet or TV privileges. Most teens think these three activities are rights but they are only privileges that you pay to allow them to use. If your teen does not follow their side of the agreement, then you can say, "Well I gave you the choice of when to attend because your attendance at church and/or youth group is important to me, so you have lost one of your privileges for a few days or a week." Whatever you decide on ahead of time with your teen.

When I share this philosophy to consider, I am generally thinking of high school age but this could be used with middle school age as well.

Most of all parents, it is up to you to encourage your teen through your own attendance and attitude when going to church and/or extra activities. Keep having conversations about church and your own faith and why it is important to you. If you do not have these conversations then your teen will assume that these things must not be that important to you, so why should it be important to them.

I realize that many parents will read this advice and dismiss it as not possible or too much work to actually follow through. I did not write this for these parents. I wrote it for the few of you parents out there who really want a new direction or a new strategy that will allow you to encourage your teen's church and/or youth group involvement in the days ahead.

I pray that this philosophy will not only "work" for your family but have a lasting spiritual impact in the days ahead!