Frankly, I just don't get it. Clip clop.

Flip flop.

These little flat noisy slabs masquerading as footwear are everywhere!

They aren't comfortable, I know that for a fact. They have no arch, so they are no good for posture or walking. The back doctors have weighed in with a verdict that they throw off the normal stride of most folks.

You can't run in them.

You make noise with every step.

What? What is the attraction to the flip flop.

I own one pair that dates back about two decades ago. From what I can tell, the design hasn't changed one bit.

I must be missing something, because they are everywhere. They are seen and heard in the grocery, in the mall, in schools and church and I saw a pair in court the other day.

I went shopping for swim trunks. It's slim pickings this time of year. And I don't mean I was looking for the "slim" size. Anyway, the only pair of trunks that appealed to me came with matching flipflops. I couldn't do it.

Someday I'll get it, the draw of this goofy footwear will dawn on me. They'll probably be out of style by then. You'll all know when this huge moment of clarity occurs. You'll hear me coming - clip clop, clip clop.

Silence is underrated.

* * *

Wait, weight

The battle to stay in shape continues...

Ok, it's true, I have a little trouble with motivation to get out there and exercise. So I indulge myself with one luxury - Jerry the trainer down at the gym.

I've written of my torture sessions with Jerry, otherwise know as Pilates. This series of arm flapping, stomach muscle building, curling up, squatting down, pretzel-mimicking exercises apparently is not enough. No, Jerry says weight training is what I need.

Wait.

It turns out I'm a little out of shape in this discipline. Weight training 101? No, probably, remedial weight training would be more in order.

It would be one thing if I could lift weights in the privacy of my own home. That's not going to happen. The weight room Jerry and I must use is quite the popular place.

So my weight lifting neighbors are the stunt double guys (grunt, grunt, grunt) and these little ladies with bulging muscles that pop out when they quietly bench press a hundred pounds or so.

Jerry says that I should pay them no mind, that I should concentrate on my 35 pounds or so and try to even out those arms.

I suspect if my arms were supposed to have been even they would have been drawn that way.... Jerry.

But I digress.

First things first, I think some rules need to be changed. It came as disappointing news that the sport does not include in the weight total the actual weight of the bar. I mean, the bar is heavy enough to trigger a sweat. AND WE DON"T COUNT THAT WEIGHT? We just pile on weight to that heavy iron bar and then that's what counts? Who made these rules?

And as a simple observation, yes the blonds are there pressing pounds in their flip flops. Me? I'm going for steel-toed shoes.