Midwest Memo

2008-07-09 / Opinions & Letters

Rambling along
by Alan Shultz

The 6:39 a.m. South Shore train from Gary to Chicago was running early the other morning. At least that's what I thought to myself as I ran to catch the train. On this particular morning I was thinking it was me who was running early, and yet my modified sprint to the platform suggested otherwise.

When I found my seat, settled in and then settled down, it became apparent that I was actually on the earlier train and it was the train that was late and it was me who was early. No mind, I figured, as I opened my newspaper and let the scenery fly by. The gentle rocking of the train tempted me to grab 40 winks more. I will neither affirm, nor deny, that I actually dozed off. I will, however, concede that the ride seemed to go pretty fast.

As we grew closer to our destination, the conductor made one more sweep through the train car. At first I couldn't figure what it was he was passing out to my fellow passengers. There seemed plenty of takers as he handed out the square looking sheets from the pad in his hand.

"Starbucks coffee coupons," was my first guess.

Rather than coupons or train schedules or some such things, it turned out that the conductor was giving out excuse notes for the late train. Presumably, some workers on the train would now have to account for their tardy arrival at work. Here was their official written excuse from the South Shore.

My first reaction was that it seemed terribly cute and quaint of the train line to provide the tardy excuse. I'm not a frequent train traveler and maybe this is common practice in the industry. I sure don't think our friends at the airlines provide any such excuses. And I'm pretty sure the toll booth collector on the Skyway isn't writing me an excuse note for the traffic jams and subsequent delayed arrivals his system regularly generates.

But as I mulled it over, the excuse note grew from cute and quaint to all kinds of greater possibilities. I was whisked back in time to memories of high school days and the power of the hall pass. That hall pass made so many things possible. A tardy excuse for adults, just imagine the possibilities, I thought.

Why, just the other day we arrived late for Sunday morning worship service. We were visitors to this particular church and the usher in the outer hall held us at bay until eventually letting us venture in under the cover of a spirited hymn. A furrowed brow, pursed lips and a stern look were part of the usher's tools to let us know we were both late and annoying.

Now, picture that scene differently. This time, picture us arriving late with our official tardy excuse in hand. As I hand over the excuse to the usher, imagine the furrowed brow melting and the stern look transforming to one of caring understanding. In my mind I see the usher sharing a look of empathy towards us as she considers our tardy note. This time, she immediately flings the door open to let us into the sanctuary. The startled look of the choir, the interrupted surprise of the minister all melt into smiles of welcome as the usher waives the tardy excuse. Then, those early bird worshipers shift in the pew to make way for the welcomed late arrivals, the ones with the written excuse.

Imagine the possibilities…

Dear IRS Officer: Enclosed please find my estimated tax payment, admittedly a tad late. Attached to the payment please find my tardy excuse issued by...

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