Midwest Memo
Amber waves
by Alan Shultz

These days our neighborhood just north of the Wabash is an artist's palate of gold, brown, rust,wheat and autumn hues that wander over many swatches on the color chart. It is not a stagnant palate but one that changes in amoment with the swipe of a tractor.

I've learned to appreciate the subtly of a terrain that looked to me more uniform than varied whenwe firstmoved to the farm. Nowthe harvesting of themyriad fields around us reveals the hills and valleys, the variety of soil, the texture of field and the lay of pasture.

I love the dramatic contrast that comes when a seeming wall of corn yields to harvested fields that appear to open and virtually flow as far as the eye can see.

It's impossible not to feel a sense of bounty amongst these fields chocked fromedge to edge with yield. The tractor lights at night, the din of the dryers, the grain trucks rumbling along the road, a drama of harvest, familiar in pattern and hue but new all over again.

* * *

Adaptable

When my wife got her trifocals the optometrist threw down a huge gauntlet of a challenge - whether he knew it or not.

"If you are a person who can adapt to change, these are for you," he said.

How's that for motivation! Who doesn't want to be considered adaptable to change?

Acouple years prior I had gotten bifocals. Those expensive spectacles rest in a cabinet drawer somewhere gathering dust because I never resolved to make them work.

On the other hand, my wife likes a good challenge. Shemade her new eyeglasses work. She proved herself to be adaptable to change.

So I'm trying in other areas.

Which brings us to undershirts.

I've always bought my undershirts in a package of 3 on sale for something like $7.99 And I've given the matter no more consideration than that.

Not that I shouldn't have aspired for better.But I didn't know there was an alternative to the sport of undershirt wrestling.

For as long as I can remember, my undershirts have been bent on strangling me. If I put the undershirt on at 8 a.m, by 9 the bottom of the shirt is waist high. By noon it has somehow moved up my torso headed for my neck. Thank goodness for my arms playing blocker.

An undershirt with a mind of its own and a murderous intent makes for a long day.And while I've mastered the art of yanking the darn shirt back down, this art involves subtle contortions and not so subtle twists and turns.

One day my son heard me complaining about my undershirts and their unwanted advances. Jeff suggested I try undershirts from the department store where he works, namely, Nordstroms.

When I learned that Jeff's recommended brand cost per shirt what I paid for three - well I balked. But then the old "adapt to change" challenge kicked in.

So I bought a pack of three.

Then, I waited for a call from

my credit card fraud protection division after noting this suspicious behavior. No call came, so with a certain amount of trepidation I put on one of the newshirts for a test run.

I'mhappy to report that expensive undershirts wear and feel well. They neither attack a guy mid-morning, nor do they travel around one's torso or attempt to do one in via strangulation.

How's that for adaptable.

* * *

Tricky

My credit card company is playing games with me. Out of the blue, with no notice, they've reduced by two the amount of days between when the bill arrives in my mailbox and the date payment is due.

Those shenanigans prompted me to open one of themany credit card offers that I receive in the mail. I actually read the fine print of this particular offering.Get this clause: "we may change interest and other fees based on your experience with other creditors."

In otherwords, if Iwas latewith some other account, that could trigger this credit card issuer to increasemy variable interest rate on this newcard by adding a 23.99% "delinquency rate"

It's a reminder to read the fine print. Clearly a reason for me to hunt down those bifocals of mine.