Midwest Memo
The big clipper
by Alan Shultz

Every once and a while I'll read a story about some lady who feeds her family of 5 for $12.25 or so a month, thanks to her amazing coupon clipping system. The "system" almost always involves a complex color-coded filing set-up with crossreferences for both food item categories and coupon expiration dates.

I once saw a woman on television who split her time between grocery coupon clipping and magazine mail-in contests. She treated her enterprise as a full-time job and had a room in her house solely devoted to the activity. The place looked like a cross between a bookie's joint and an eccentric's lair

I, on the other hand, have trouble redeeming the very simplest $2 off newspaper coupons on our favorite frozen pizza we buy virtually every single week. I'll clip the coupon from the paper and then I'll put it in my wallet or clip it to the visor in the car. Somewhere between the grocery parking lot and the frozen food aisle the coupon will either expire or morf into a half off savings on Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches or a non-fat nondairy creamer.

I was at a sandwich franchise the other day for lunch. For my beverage I bought a Pepsi from the cooler.While I ate my sandwich I noticed that the bottle cap of the Pepsi I purchased had awarded me a "buy 1, get 1 free."

I knew I would never successfully redeem the offer if I didn't do it right then and there. So I finished my sandwich and headed for the cooler, then the cashier.

"Can I redeem this here?" I asked. I put my two Pepsis on the counter and handed the bottle top over.

The lady behind the cash register looked at the bottle top as though it was an unrecognizable object. She squinted at the clear big print inside the cap as though it were in a foreign language or secret code.

"Marge," she called out to her co-worker, "do we take these?"

Now, this was lunchtime, Marge was making sandwiches, people were in line waiting.

Marge stepped over to the cash register for a "consult."

"I'm not sure how we would get reimbursed," she said, examining the bottle top, then looking in my direction.

Now, I'll grant you that the bottle cap did not come with instructions on how the sandwich shop would get reimbursed. I kind of figured that was a behind the scenes deal which did not involve little old me - the mere sandwich eater and Pepsi drinker.

An awkward pause ensued. Marge caved.

Though I left the sandwich place with the free Pepsi, I felt as though I had robbed the place. It was hardly a rewarding moment in my coupon redemption

career.

As with many things in life, in couponing, there's usually a catch, or at least some fine print.

The other day I got notice in the mail that I had flunked out on an attempted coupon redemption. It was some office supply item, bought long enough ago I've lost track of its identity.My failure notice came as a postcard informing me I neglected to include the proper proof of purchase. I had submitted the coupon, the yard long cash register receipt and the completed redemption instructions. Whatever I clipped from the item I bought apparently wasn't the official proof of purchase.

Did they think I was trying to trick them over a sweet deal on ink cartridges or the like??

I suppose I should stick with the buy one, get one free deals. What could be more appealing than sitting down for lunch, and winding up eating two lunches instead. In fact, there's a two Whoppers for the price of one special going on right now. Fortunately for me, I have two Pepsi bottles rolling around loose in the back seat of the car.

What a deal.