Midwest Memo
Brush off
by Alan Shultz

Although a firm believer in regular dental hygiene, I've never been one wishing to display my toothbrush to casual guests in our home. I like tooth brushes hidden away out of sight in the bathroom. I do not like them stuffed in little display pots sitting on the vanity and looking the equivalent of stringy artificial flowers.

Now a master bath, or an "en suite' private bath is the exception. These are private spaces not meant for viewing or use by guests or the occasional tradesman needing to use the facilities. You can leave your toothbrush on the counter of your private bath - it doesn't bother me. But if you've got the set up like we do, hall baths that double as guest baths, well then a little concealment of the toothbrush is in order.

Quite by accident, I once stumbled upon a toothbrush holder intended for use on a sink, but, which also concealed the toothbrushes. I spotted this beauty while dashing down some Target or K-Mart aisle. It was a seashell looking affair, pretty and decorative on the front side with the toothbrush holders on the back. I saw this tooth brush holder and then immediately lost track of what store had carried it. I figured there was a fortune to be made in mass production of these little brush holders with the unique "privacy" feature. That little scheme never made it past the dreaming stage. And I've never come across a similar item since.

The designer of one of our medicine cabinets was a person after my own taste. Inside the door to the medicine cabinet there are brackets intended to hold several toothbrushes. These brackets provide a private, out of view spot for toothbrushes, a perfect fit for the problem. Except that there is a problem.

Over the years the hand holding end of toothbrushes has grown and grown. I have an every six-month date with the dentist for a teeth cleaning. After that little adventure in the dentist's chair I am rewarded a new toothbrush for good behavior. The handles on these toothbrushes are the size of miniature baseball bats. They won't fit on the holder on the back of the medicine cabinet. They won't even fit thru the holes in the decorative pot that's supposed to sit on the vanity- the show off pot that I so disdain.

Where exactly is one supposed to store these toothbrushes on steroids?

A while back I bought a little porcelain and metal toothbrush holder that's supposed to sit on a shelf in the medicine cabinet. I liked this holder because it was out of view but kept the brushes away from each other and let them dry

out. The problem is, we no

longer have any toothbrushes that fit in the little slots intended to hold the brushes.

At the drug store they're selling super-sized toothbrushes similar to the ones the dentist gives out. Big and bulky the handles are, they remind me of the Colonel's extra crispy drumsticks. And to what point? How is tooth brushing improved with these bulky toothbrushes that are impossible to store?

Sometimes I wonder if the designers of these big toothbrushes ever use their own product. Do these folks have really big hands that they need these huge handles? Or maybe their work spaces have extra special storage built in for storing assorted toiletries including said monster handled brushes.

Meanwhile I've solved the problem for the short term. I'm using a 99-cent brush intended for a travel case. It doesn't give "breakthrough design" or "aerodynamic function" but it does brush ones teeth. Best of all, it hangs out of sight, quite nicely, on the back of my medicine cabinet door.