Midwest Memo
Enunciate!
by Alan Shultz

We, the grandmother in the big floppy hat and I, were each seated on black vinyl sofas opposite one another.We were waiting for the same charter bus and it was decidedly late. Her two lanky grandsons towered over her, one on either side.Teenage brothers, I'mjust sure of it. The boys' mouths were moving, but nothing discernible was coming out.

I didn't know the trio, but I found them interesting. She was obviously a strong woman. They were, I'm thinking, embarrassed, intimidated, insecure, some combination of the three.

"Speak, so I can understand you," she said in a loud voice. She spoke slowly and clearly. Her mouth formed the words in exaggerated pronouncements of clarity.

It didn't help.The brothersmumbled andmurmured and talked in the direction of the floor, much to the consternation of their grandmother.

"Well, itmustn't be important enough forme to hear then," she said. She looked straight over to me as if to dare me to disagree. But I was with her, I just wasn't showing it.

What's with all the mumbling?

The subject of mumbling, or enunciating, you pick, was front stage and center this week. It came up when advanced computer software was used to analyze a historically significant and quite famous compound sentence. The speaker of that sentence was none other than Astronaut Neal Armstrong, the first man to set foot on the moon. The sentence undergoing analysis was one we all know. In fact, said words comprise the first words ever spoken on the moon.

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." That's the sentence everyone thought they heard back in July of 1969 when Armstrong's words made their way back through space to earth.

The grammar experts amongst us immediately took exception to his choice of words.

Turns out, Armstrong mumbled a bit that historic day.He actually said, and hasmaintained all along that he said:

"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."

The "a" before man, made sense out of what he said but was lost in space - so to speak.

And all of us earthlings would have gotten it, if only he had enunciated!

I'm a real fan of enunciation.

When it comes to renting a movie, our family can usually agree on a pick. The exception is when someone suggests a flick staring comedian Adam Sandler. Given his success, I'm sure the problem is me, not him, but honestly, I can't understand a word the guy says.He'smanaged tomake hisway to the top of the ladder without ever once enunciating a single syllable. Sure, maybe he's a comic genius, but one would have to understand what he was saying to appreciate that...right?

Mumbling, or mispronunciation can be a handy tool for some. Politicians are known to run for cover under the shield that their words were somehow misunderstood. Senator GeorgeAllen of Virginia recently used the pronunciation defense in a controversy over his use of a racially offensive slip. I suppose since clarity is not a politician's friend, neither would be enunciation.

I love hearing different accents and the different sound of regional dialogue. But the appreciation of these differences only goes as far asmy understanding of what's being said. I heard a teachers' union official fromLouisiana interviewed on the radio the other day. While her dialect was charming, the lady routinely dropped whole syllables from the words she used to convey her message. A teacher spokesperson who won't enunciate- geepers!

Which reminds me, the next time we're renting movies, I've got new terms when the Adam Sandler flicks are suggested.Theywill require a double feature viewing with the best enunciation film of all time. It's the one starring our dear Professor Higgins teaching poor Eliza Doolittle just how the English language really works. "My Fair Lady."

Now repeat after me: "the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain."

I think you've got it.