They say it’s the thought that counts.

I think they’re right.

The scene is a Christmas past. The gift is a black turtleneck sweater. The recipient is a cousin.

The gift box is unwrapped. The gift is removed, displayed for all present to see.

The cousin is silent, then says: “But I already have a black turtleneck.”

Someone, quick, raise your hand if you care.

The nicest tie I’ve ever owned, the one I wore and wore and wore out, that tie was a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law. It was purple, kind of jazzy, a little ahead of my taste.

When I opened that particular box on that particular Christmas past I thought to myself,: “I will never, ever wear this tie.”

But my mama taught me to be polite. Taught me well, she did.

“Thank you,” I said.

That tie, it grew on me, we became inseparable.

One Christmas past I gave my aunt a box of chocolate covered pretzels. When she unwrapped the package, then opened the tin, she commented something like: “You know, I really don’t like these.”

Had I been a cartoon character, the thought bubble above my head would have read thus: “Well then, give them to your neighbor, leave them out at church, feed them to the dog.”

A price is paid when a gift is rejected.

The legal system takes great pains in defining the requirements of a gift. The giver of the gift is called the “donor.” The recipient of the gift is called the “donee.” The legal requirements for an enforceable gift include obligations from both the donor and the donee.

The donor must have the intent to give a gift. If I loan you my lawn mower, that is not a gift. I don’t intend for you to keep it as yours. I expect it back. If I leave my mower on the sidewalk while I run to answer the phone inside, that is also not a gift to the passerby. I did not intend to give away my mower just because the phone was ringing. “Finders, keepers” does not apply in gift giving either.

In addition to intent, the donor must accomplish delivery. If I buy you a lawn mower and leave it in a box in my garage, that is not a gift. I must cause delivery of that mower to you to make it a gift.

But for a gift to be accomplished, the donee must act also. The donee must receive the gift. If I hand you a black turtleneck and you say “no thanks” and hand it back to me, my gifting of the sweater has not been accomplished. The donor intent was there. The receipt of the gift by the donee was absent.

When this happens, pass the eggnog and hope it’s spiked.

It’s worthy to note that the word “want” does not appear anywhere in the discussion, definition or commentary of what constitutes a gift. Also absent from the discussion of a gift is any reference to the right “color” or “size.”

I suppose the most famous Christmas gifts ever given and received where the gold, frankincense and myrrh delivered on camel that very first Christmas.

Back then, gift registries hadn’t been invented. Given the whole manger set up, I don’t suppose Mary and Joseph were actually hoping for these particular items. Perhaps a bed and a warm bath would have been more welcomed.

But the gifts were considered treasures and they were received as such.

To be on either side of a relationship where a gift is intended, that is a treasure.

It is the thought that counts. Merry Christmas, to all our readers.